Newsletter Nov 2016 - Jan 2017

I had hoped that my visit to Nepal would give me a clearer vision of what I wanted to do for the next 20 years. A monastery in Nepal was on my bucket list for 25 years and in all those years I’ve been interested in Buddhism and understanding it. While I feel that reincarnation is normal everyday stuff their belief that we come back in all kind of animals forms didn’t resonate with me at all. Priya and I had a fantastic opportunity to go to a monkey temple. There were hundreds of them freely skittering around amongst everybody...

Priya and I completed a day course on healing with singing bowls. I really enjoyed that and added to my collection of singing bowls. I also shipped a massive GONG back to London which I'm enthralled by. I've always been receptive to sound. Having done this trip, backpacking and 30 hours of journey time without sleep, almost polished me off, so I won't be doing that again in a hurry. It was lovely to have Priya there and if it hadn't been for her I wouldn't have done it in the first place.

Dear Lucinda

I've been meaning to write to you for a long time now but never seemed to get around to it. I’ve been coming to your salons for nearly 2 years and I want to tell you how much being part of the Lucinda Ellery family has changed my life.

My hair has been thinning, I think since my early 20s. I certainly remember feeling conscious of my fringe when I was about 25 and by 27, I was looking up trichologists to at least give me an answer to why my hair was getting worse. I wasn't impressed. Telling me I had genetic female pattern baldness was not what I wanted to hear. My iron and ferritin levels were checked; I was put on iron tablets and started applying lotions. None of it worked

I started wearing my hair up all the time and using hair bands and bandanas to cover up what was becoming a thinning patch in the centre parting of my head.

What was lacking on the outside was more than affecting what was happening in the inside. My self confidence was low and I dreaded the years ahead - knowing full well that it would just keep getting worse. I didn't talk about this much with anyone - the more I acknowledged there was a problem, the more real it would become.

I met my now husband when I was 34. He loved me then as he loves me now, just as I am. But even this didn't take away the anxiety and shame I was beginning to feel. On my wedding day, I wore my hair up because there was no other option. By 37, I no longer wore my hair in any other style and hadn't been to a hairdresser for over 10 years.

And so the years passed by and I tried to ignore my hair. By the time I got pregnant at 40; my hair looked amazing of course. But this was short lived and it went back to normal fairly quickly after my daughter was born. At 41, I could no longer avoid what stared back at me in the mirror every day.

I started googling hair loss remedies after watching America's Next Top Model! They were doing weaves and extensions so I figured somewhere in the UK must have something similar. Everywhere I looked online, the name Lucinda Ellery kept appearing. And when I landed on your website, there was a promotion of a free consultation that month! Serendipity!

The consultation I had with you opened up my world to new possibilities - I was emotional and totally overcome by the possibility that I might be 'normal' again.

Fast forward 2 years and honestly, I haven't looked back.

I no longer fear having my photo taken or going out and getting dressed up. I have a luscious head of hair which is my joy. But most of all, I have my confidence back, and I can't tell you how good it feels to love what's in the mirror.

I think the summer I got in touch with you, along with having my daughter, sparked a change in me. Before, it was a case of 'well if my hair is awful, what's the point in working on the rest'. I started getting fit and ran my first 10k ever last year and I'm now training for my first half marathon. I've lost my baby weight and though I have more weight to lose, I think my hair was the catalyst.

So thank you Lucinda. I am so very grateful to you for giving me back my confidence and igniting my desire to be the best me I can be.

With love,
Jo

Hello Ladies,

Careering towards a life you love - at any age

Last year I introduced you to three of my favourite words, patience, practice and passion and how they give my life meaning. As we head into 2017, I'd like to think about how the 3 Ps play out in our life roles too as parents, partners, friends colleagues and so on.

Up first is our work role (or roles) – so let me invite you to reflect on the following question:

'How can we find work we love and at the same time maintain our life balance?'

A big question certainly, so here's my take on it. Much has been written about work-life balance in recent times, and there's little wonder. We scratch our heads and ask ourselves how we got here. We're busy to the point that we don't know what we're doing from one day to the next and we feel more tired, anxious and stressed as a result. We keep going because we believe we have no time to do anything else, living in the vague hope that something will change and get us back on track.

It's weird because on one hand we have the world at our fingertips where we can connect and stay in touch with family and friends like never before and yet on the other, we fall prey to the dark side of this connectivity which somehow manages to turn some of us from being decent hard working people into workaholics addicted to spending unhealthy amounts of time plugged in with life passing us by.

We feel guilty and frustrated as we try to hold on to diminishing amounts of precious time with family and friends and see our most important relationships suffer, including the one with our hair.

This modern phenomenon affects men and women alike and it isn't going to go away. The discontent we feel is of course very human because it's our inner voice telling us something isn't right and deep down we know that life should be very different. We are also experiencing the law of diminishing returns which wisely suggests that the more we acquire (financially and materially) the less time we have to enjoy the fruits of our labour and so we lose that feeling of life is good.

If reading this strikes a chord but also leaves you wondering what you can do, then I would love to talk - no matter what stage of career you’re at. We all know there's never a right time or a best time, but work wise, today more than at any time before with that world at our fingertips there is more opportunity to do a number of things, rather than staying in one or two, or even a few jobs over a lifetime.

Anything and everything possible – so whether you're post grad, or post retirement – a slight tangent here I know but there are increasing numbers of people working well into their 60s and 70s where they've discovered work they love with no intention of retiring. But that's another story, although very heartening, and perhaps even more so if you’re mid or late career.

The important thing is that wherever you find yourself on this timeline of work, I truly believe that if something isn't working at work, then spending some time with a thinking partner who can help you devise a plan and then bring it to life will be a very liberating experience. You'll be able to step back, take stock, stem the stress tide and turn the corner filled with new hope and a sense of anticipation as you begin to build a new career – or careers. There's also the knock on affect with those closest to you feeling they're getting their mum, dad, friend or partner back as your plan unfolds.

Helping people achieve whole life balance is part of my purpose by understanding what you hold dear (your values).

Your plan may involve a period of re-training, returning to study, or working with the skills and knowledge you already have. A coach friend of mine said recently, 'what you have is all you need' – wise words indeed.

And so careering towards a life you love is not just about CV writing, applying for jobs, doing panel interviews and assessment centres only to then join the gravy train of being onboarded, inducted and put through the mill again, it is more to do with paying attention to something else; the force from within and thinking about what you really want and that takes patience, practice and passion. Deep down when we're thinking about a new career what we're actually yearning for is a way of finding meaningful work and life balance.

Until next time…

Karen

m: 07887 824209

e: karen@futureperfectconsulting.co.uk

http://www.lifecoach-directory.org.uk/lifecoaches/karen-hayns-future-perfect